Old Memories Can Be Both Bittersweet and Lovely

When my mom passed away, I was tasked with going emptying out her house. It killed me to do it because I missed her so much. The bright side of clearing the house out was finding old things that brought back so many memories such as finding the cheap portable record player that my mom used to play all her favorite albums on. I slogged through all of the things in my mother’s home with a heavy heart, but I also found myself smiling over some of the great things that I found, including all her old music records.

I was very close to my mother. I thought that I would live in the same city with her for life, but our hometown is very small with few work opportunities. Most people in the area find themselves stuck working at the same factory or small cafe all their lives because there aren’t a lot of other good opportunities. My mom pushed me hard to get out of there, go to a good university elsewhere and get a decent job. So, for the past 10 years, much of our time together was spent on the phone or using email to communicate with one another. I knew that she was right that I had to save myself from a life of ongoing financial struggle by leaving, but on the other hand, I struggled not being able to see my mom all the time, too.

When I came across the old record player that mom used to use, I decided to dust it off and plug it in. I carefully loaded one of mom’s old Frank Sinatra albums onto the player. The sound of his hit songs filled the garage soon after. I danced around like my mom used to when she used to listen to his music. Just then, another album that I had found suddenly slipped from the pile nearby and I saw that it was my mom’s second favorite singer. I imagined that it had to be because she was with me right then. She was pointing out to me which music she wanted to hear next!

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